Degrees Go to Die- College Itself

This is the fourth and final category of obstacles I see to achieving a college degree.

It may be the most important to understand.

College/University is a very different world from where your student has just spent their last 12 years. If you either attended or graduated, you know what I mean. And it has changed even MORE since you attended. Let’s review the most common long-standing issues we see:

FREEDOM I- Basically, for a while, you can do what you want. Yeah, you have to get along with someone in your dorm/apt, and you have to manage your food. That’s about it. No one will tell you to pick up your stuff, wash your clothes, or go to class. When you do go to class, no one raps you on the knuckles if you fall asleep. They may nudge you if you snore. Formal communications show up in your email box, which you can ignore ( at your peril, usually.) When you do, you miss deadlines, changes, and even scholarships.

This sudden whoosh of freedom can be intoxicating, addictive, and very dangerous. It can blow up your student’s promises to do good, and derail them for a semester or for years, depending on their parent’s tolerances. I told mine she had one semester to adjust. After that, reckoning started.

FREEDOM II- Then there’s the rest of it. Parties, games, more parties, some Greek Life, etc. Sure, most of us did some of that. But did you know there are National ratings for the “party scene”? Type in Princeton Review of party schools. It may enlighten you!

Current technology is yet another form of interaction. Papers are submitted electronically. Messages are sent the same way. Responses to inquiries hang out in “Never, Neverland ( the web) ”, and it goes on and on. Back in the day, I stood in line, in person to register for classes. Ten years ago, my daughter did a countdown at midnight to be sure she got into her required classes. That’s the new norm, and if you don’t know this trick, you have to “buy” another semester or even a full year to get the course to graduate.

It’s a strange blend of cool and off-putting experiences. I waited in lobby areas to speak to my professors in person with a concern/question during office hours. That’s so old school today. You may have flunked a class, but never read the electronic notice. These examples come from current first-year students today.

SOCIAL NORMS There is both immersion and isolation. A lot of students experience great anxieties, but mental health resources are stretched thin. Finding your “crew” and knowing they are there for you is critical to survival in this strange new land. Usually, it takes a few burns before that comes together. College can feel like a foreign land, filled with traditions and challenges, loaded with a range of humanity, and full of potholes in the road to earning a degree.

YOUR STUDENT’S ARSENAL If your student doesn’t have the strength of character, grit, determination, and purpose, it could feel like drinking from a fire hose. Please talk to them about their expectations AND yours. Give them a chance to realize they need more time before diving in. They may be secretly grateful for another process or path. Please be ready for a delay or a “gap” as an option. You may have kept your student from being one of the four in ten students who never graduate with a degree after attending college.

Finally- sometimes the selected college is NOT the right fit. I propose all students give it a full semester, so they are not speaking from homesickness. But, if they come home and want to talk about a transfer. please listen, encourage and learn. It could be a great decision.

Be attentive, a good listener and supportive. Help them know there are may paths to a good life, and you are there as they figure it out.

Until Next Time,

All My Best,

Bonnie