Top Five HARD Questions about Going To College
I just finished co-teaching a course on Transformational Leadership. The book was amazing and the students were engaged. I hope we did it justice.
In the final chapter, the book offered a Model for Organizational Effectiveness. Sounds a bit boring. Actually, it is VERY useful for almost any major decision you need to make or lead a team through... And, I think going to college is one of those BIG decisions.
College involves money, time, commitment, and hard work. I’ve shared with you the terrible numbers about graduating. Only 40% will graduate in four years; only 61% in six years. That leaves another 40% who NEVER graduate with a degree. I have called out academia on these failing numbers in this blog before. Now, I am putting out that same call to all parents and families, too.
Don’t send your student off to college without a plan, a reason, a commitment, and the needed support from you. Don’t send a marginal student off to college, especially while borrowing money, with nothing more than, “I hope he/she can handle this.” If you have a strong sense of worry about whether they can handle college, there is probably a real reason. Go with your gut; consider a different direction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working and saving money for a year. Entry-level positions are available everywhere right now.
Let’s tweak this model a bit, but use the essence of it as a guide. In fact, if I were a journaling type, I’d dedicate one page to each question. And who is answering these questions? Your student. Not you for them. Your student. Have them answer these questions in detail, in writing. Then, go over their answers together. Let’s begin-
WHY? Why do I want to go to college? Why do I need to go to college?
It’s not too much to ask someone to put some thought into these first questions. Especially if you are forking over $20k+ a year times at least 4 years. That’s a pile of money. In organization-speak, this would be called the Vision question This is the purpose behind it all. This is the gold standard we aim for. For example, if you want to be a dentist, you must go to college, earn a degree, and do VERY WELL grade-wise to get into Dental School. There’s a lot more to it, of course. This is just the starting framework.
WHAT? What about what I want to do requires graduating from college? What must I do in college to get to my desired career or calling? Think of the WHAT question as the Mission question. Back to wanting to be a dentist. You need to find out the best major ( generally biology is a good starting place ). Your mission is to build your studies towards your goal which career counselors in college can help you plan. Also, you need to make top-level grades. You will need great study skills and time-management skills. Self-discipline is critical.
HOW? How will I get this done in the most cost-effective way possible? How will I stay on track to graduate on time, with top grades? The cost here is not just money, but time.
This is the structural part of things. Back in the Dark Ages when I attended college, my major required tons of reading. I had between 7 and 12 books every semester! The only way to remember to do that was to put the books on my calendar with 1’s, 2’s and 3’s next to the title, on a day on my school calendar. By a certain date, I had to be 1/3 of the way through the book. By the next date, 2/3, etc. To be transparent, I was rarely on time. But I could see my deadline coming, so I’d at least drag the book out and start catching up. The structure includes great study and time-management skills. This is all a part of how you achieve the results you need to keep moving towards your goal.
It is critical that your student sees beyond being accepted. They have to stay in, they have to do the work, do it on time and do it well.
WHO is important. Who can help them?
Your student is surrounded by a new village. They need to take time to know where and when to reach out for help. They need to get clarity so they can focus on the right things. It is critical they pay attention to ALL communications coming into their student “portal.” Ignore them at your own peril! Deadlines, syllabus, test dates, and class meeting dates/times changes ALL get sent to those electronic mailboxes. Pay attention! Learn where the great campus resources are. Your RA , ( resident advisor ), in your dorm should have the basic connections on your campus.
And finally, the COST!
Yes, I believe a parent should have a financial conversation with your soon-to-be college student. Let them know what you can and cannot do financially. Help them see that college is not “free.” Best of all, give them a gracious path to go in another direction should the need arise.
We did that with our student. We shared the numbers, told her to do the work and do her best. If at ANY time, making college her priority was no longer her focus, she could tell us and we’d move on to plan B. She took me up on it and said,” So, what IS plan B?” I answered, “I don’t know today, but we will figure it out if we have to!”
Hard realities and real questions now can save you a lot of heartaches later.
ENOUGH! The College Cost Crisis has even more questions and options to help you and your student launch them towards their best future. High School graduation is just around the corner- get a few and gift them early. They may thank you many times over for it!
Next week. we explore the graph of a Crisis and talk about the Reconstruction phase. We all can learn a bit for ourselves in this one.
Until next time,
All my best,
Bonnie Burkett
